fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
