I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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