porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
