Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
