Heybabeimwearingurpanties
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
