i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
