Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
