Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
