Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
