I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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