i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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