I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar