im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.