My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....