How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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