garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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