Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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