Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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