its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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