her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
