i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
