i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
