I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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