look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need water and some morals
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
