i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize