Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
