Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They have beer where we have blood.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
