there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize