Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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