I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
