turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
