? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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