OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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