There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
