i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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