I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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