i just had sex bonerless
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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