Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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