I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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