some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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