It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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