I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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