Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
