it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
As shirtless as possible
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
