please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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