so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The air was thick with penises
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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