I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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