The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
