I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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