If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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