You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
