I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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