dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
