yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
