someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
