dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You ate ashes out of my bong
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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