Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Life without a bra equals bliss.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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