Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
