i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
