hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
