It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
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No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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