i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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