curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
